Monthly Archives: January 2005

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All the News That’s Fit to Print

Be sure to pick up a copy of the NY Times this Wednesday. The Dining Out Section will contain an article about “waiter rage” in NYC. My blog is supposed to be mentioned and quoted. I’ll post the URL when it becomes available. I was

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Therapeutic Jujitsu

It’s a slow Monday night and I snag my first table. Seated is a hirsute middle aged man projecting an air of superiority that makes me want to pull out my pepper mill and club him over the head like a baby seal. Hirsute says

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Baby it’s Cold Outside

When I left work last night we had a hundred reservations on the books. When I checked in late this morning we were down to thirty. Goddamn snow. “So whatcha gonna do?” I ask Fluvio, the owner. “Close,” he replies glumly. I sigh – losing

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Tapestry

It’s Saturday night. The first round of tables is seated and eating. That means there’s a lull until the dessert madness begins. Everyone takes a breather. I’m standing by the beverage dispenser hydrating myself with club soda. Saskia, one of the new busgirls, comes by

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Update

Sorry I haven’t posted in a while everybody but I’ve been busy When I got home from work Monday night I found my dog acting strangely He was shaking uncontrollably, didn’t want to be touched, and whimpering. When I picked him up he howled in

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Sell Out?

As you might have noticed, I’ve decided to start running ads on my site. This was a move I’ve been contemplating for several months. I was going to write a long winded explanation of why I’m doing it, but everything I wrote sounded like complete

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The Maltese Falcon – sort of

It’s lunch. I’m managing the floor but the new waiter is overwhelmed. I have to leave my beloved NY Times behind and actually do some work. Now I’m in a foul mood. I target the most impatient looking table. Two middle aged businessman. They’re doing

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Trojan Man

Sitting in my section is probably the best looking couple I’ve ever laid eyes on. The man is matinee idol handsome. The woman looks like she stepped out of the pages of Vogue. They delight in each others presence. Perfect teeth flash, crystalline laughter echoes,

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“Sideways” meets “Star Wars”

The four top is polishing off their second round of martinis. Entrée’s already ordered they’re debating what wine to drink with dinner. I wait patiently. One of the wives looks at me. “Waiter have you seen the movie Sideways?” she titters boozily. Ah Sideways. “A

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Touch of Evil

It’s ten o’clock in the morning. I’m spread out in the booth by the window perusing the papers sipping espresso. The staff bustles about readying the bistro for business. This is my favorite part of the day. The busgirls’ soft voices rise and fall, blending