Yearly Archives: 2005

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Parking Spot

It’s my day off and I need a new pair of black shoes. My old waiter clogs are getting ratty. New Year’s Eve will soon be upon us. I need to look my best. So I decide to drive over to the mall and buy

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Bits of Wisdom

Here are some bits of wisdom I picked up over the years from people, books and film. Wherever possible I’ve made attribution. “Never make a decision when you’re high in the sky or down in the dumps.” – my high school principal. (On relationships) “If

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Happy Holidays!

To all Waiter Rant readers – my best wishes for a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. And, oh yeah, for the first time since 1959 the first day of the Festival of Lights is on December 25th! Happy Hanukkah! Have fun!

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No Waiter is an Island

Hi Guys. Sorry for the lack of posts. I’ve been sick and it’s the Holidays. Between work and shopping I’ve had no time to write. Here’s a story I was working on last week. In retrospect, with the MTA strike, the title is prophetic…………………. I

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Food Critic

My friend and I are drinking poorly made martinis in a 42nd Street bar, trying to decide where to eat. “Feel like Thai?” my friend asks. “Nah,” I reply, “I’m not in the mood for Thai.” “Italian?” I give her the gentle version of the

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Perfection

The woman purses her lips and takes her sweet time perusing the menu. Her husband’s already ordered. The clock ticks. I have other tables to attend to. If she takes any longer roots are going to sprout out of my shoes. “Can I help you

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Tis The Season

“Uh, I have a problem with table 2,” Kylie says warily. “What kind of problem?” I sigh. We’re in the middle of the holiday insanity and I’m tired. “They want to pay with a gift certificate.” “So?” “They only have the card holder – not

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All Mashed Up

I bring the filet mignon to table 24. Medium rare, covered with a melted gorgonzola, fried leeks and a simple demiglaze, it’s a work of art perched atop a swirling bed of garlic mashed potatoes and broccoli rabe. If God were an entrée this would