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Anthony Bourdain 1956 – 2018

Anthony Bourdain’s book Kitchen Confidential inspired me to write my blog Waiter Rant. When that blog became a book in 2008, Anthony provided a very gracious front cover blurb which undoubtedly boosted the book’s success. I owed him a great deal. My wife woke me to

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The Church of Steve

Recently, televangelist Jesse Duplantis proclaimed that God told him he needed to purchase a 57 million dollar Dassualt private jet to help carry out his ministry. The conversation allegedly went like this.  GOD:  Jesse, you wanna come up where I’m at? DUPLANTIS: What do you

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When I Won’t Have to Leave Alone

I parked my car in front of my daughter’s school and walked up to the front door. As I rang the bell I smiled. This is the best part of my day. The door buzzed and I walked in. “Whose daddy is here?” the teacher

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Let The Chips Fall Where They May

A while back, a young person told me, “I don’t want to have children.  Why should I bring another human being into this horrible world?” I sat back in my chair, not knowing how to answer. There really is no answer. Many people choose not to

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To Do List

The sound of the phone ringing punctured my sleep and my eyes snapped open. Staring at the ceiling my first conscious thought was, “Was that crack always there?” Groaning, I picked up my phone. It was my town’s emergency response department. I was in their

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Trying Too Hard

When I walked into the endodontist’s office his receptionist said, “Welcome back Mr. Dublanica.” “There’s no ‘Welcome back’ when you come to the endodontist,” I said. “What you should say is,’ You screwed up and now you’re going to pay!’” “I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m

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Captain Kirk

“Root canal,” the dentist said. “Aw shit,” I said. “Let me call the endodontist. Maybe he can fit you in today.” “Okay.” Sitting in the chair, I gingerly touched my bicuspid and was rewarded with a stabbing jolt of pain. Two weeks ago, the dentist

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Ghosts

“There’s a ghost in my room,” my daughter wailed from her bedroom. Sighing, I rolled out of bed and walked into Natalie’s room, figuring this was just another ploy to stay up longer. “Where’s the ghost?” I said. “There,” Natalie said, pointing to the wall.

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Forbidden Fruit

A couple of days ago I was watching my old dog sleeping on his bed. In canine years, Buster must be well over a hundred.  Blind and mostly deaf, he is no longer able to traverse the stairs and spends of most his time sleeping

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Prevailing Versus Winning

Last Saturday I was in a townie bar watching my wife do her standup comedy routine. I didn’t like the tavern at all. When I went to get a beer the bartender, who seemed overwhelmed by the simplest of orders, gave me $11 in change