Limits of the Heart

I was waiting in an exam room in my cardiologist’s office, watching the clock. My appointment was for 5:40. It was now 6:45. “He’ll be just a minute,” an assistant said, poking her head into the room. “Hang in there.” “If I’m the lowest priority in the...

Fear of Flying

My nephew was deathly afraid of flying. Every time his parents suggested they go on a trip involving airline travel he’d freak out – convinced he’d perish in a 30,000 foot uncontrolled descent. I figured he grow out of this phobia – but then my parents...

Ghost of a Percentage

A couple of days ago I was watching a science program about the end of the universe. It was kind of depressing. 1,0000000000,0000000000,0000000000,0000000000,0000000000,0000000000, 0000000000,0000000000, 0000000000,0000000000,0000000000,0000000000...

I Don’t Want to Sink

A while back I realized I needed to sort some things out and started seeing a therapist about once a month. Last week I was early for my appointment so I sat in my car and enjoyed a blueberry scone with a cup of coffee. As I was listening to the radio a loud scraping...

I Hurt Myself Today

When I got home from work yesterday the newest addition to my pocketknife collection was waiting in my mailbox. Like a kid on Christmas I slid the new knife out of its packaging and flicked it open. “Nice,” I said, feeling the razor sharp edge. “Very nice.” Then I...

Falling To The Ground

Just before my beloved dog Buster died I found out we had mice. Late in the evening, I was keeping vigil over Buster when I heard a scuttling sound in kitchen. When I looked up a brown mouse shot across the kitchen floor and dove underneath the stove. Just great....

The Coors Light Mystery

When the cable installer rigged up my new television service a few days ago he had to open up the drop ceiling in my basement to install some new wiring. But when he pushed up the ceiling tile a small surprise was waiting for him. Two empty beer cans fell on his head....

I Should Be Better, But I’m Not.

A few weeks ago I got sick of my cable company’s usurious fees, terrible customer service, out of date equipment, degrading internet speed and them being assholes in general. So I canceled, signed up with one of their competitors, and arranged an installation date. I...

Django Unchained

Django used to hang out with my dog “Buster” at the dog park. A very cute pooch. His owner is having trouble paying his vet bills. Any help you can give him would be most appreciated. The GoFundMe link is here, Thank...

Clean Cups

This morning my daughter climbed into my bed and prodded my shoulder. I was already awake but pretended to sleep, adding an exaggerated snore for emphasis, “Wake up time, Daddy,” Natalie said. “Wake up time.” I snored again and was rewarded with a giggle. Little...